Beckfern's Pandemonium

don't. ever. steal. my. food.

Hi Tay.

You know, it kinda sucks that I have been missing you a lot lately. I guess it’s normal especially when I know I will never have the chance to see you again, well, unless I go to heaven when I die. 

Anyways, I know it’s impossible but right now, like, really, right now, I’d love to talk to you, or sing with you, hold your hand, or just be with you. I know it seems unfair that I remember you most in my trying moments but please do know that you are in my heart. You’re in there always, every day, every morning, every time I pass by at our altar and I see your picture smiling back at me. 

It had been months, Tay. But it still stings like hell. I’m sorry if I had been busy lately.  It’s terrible but now, I’m beginning to dread the idea of being alone. Because during those moments, I think a lot about you. There was a time I watched an Il Divo concert, I just cried because I would like to see a classical music concert with you someday but it’ll never happen. I dread action movies now, they remind me so much about you. Watching bikes still fascinates me but it kinda hurts knowing that at the back of my mind, there’ll be no chance that we could drive around the banwa to go to the beach, buy odd-looking flashlights, and eat batchoy. 

Just while I was writing this, I realized that my childhood was so full of memories about us spending time together. 

I am striving to become a better person for you, Tay. But please, I hope you understand that things are a bit rocky for me right now. I love you so much. 

This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals—sounds that say listen to this, it is important.

—Gary Provost (via heisenblerg)

(Source: qmsd, via mayeey)